Wednesday, January 17, 2007
today went back to kcp immediately after the so called EP. so stupid. anyway, i manage to draw the relief tag! yeah!! haha.. fri i wanna try again. get permission from Mr chan first bah. lolz.. jus wanna put my bag inside without asking mummy for help. if not, she damn poor thing. must walk out to open door specially for me.
went to make the cd with mr lok. wa.. confusing n long. but manage to do it. heng.. but too bad, by the time i finish it, Mummy went off for meeting at TJC liao. so din really get to talk to her too. haven even tell her abt the good news too. tat's why i haven cheque in. it's still with me. lolz.. :P sitting at her place to do work quite stress. got teacs looking at me. but like tat good. i can concentrate better. cos die die also must do work. if not, teacs will scold me. haha.. :D i'm someone who needs to be pushed. if only i can study at Mummy's place until evening. lolz.. anyway, finally manage to get old of her time-table. haha..
then met up with GG CLs(Denise&Grace) & ACLs(Qian Han&Liang Yu). went to TPY to buy cloths. haha.. they joined Chingay too! except for Denise. haha.. chat n chat. sianz lor.. dunno can claim back my $70 from that horrible woman anot.. argh!! i wun be so stupid to claim from Mummy. if she made Mummy to pay me, i'll not take. think i better go photocopy the receipt. if not, later she deny then i die.. $70 lor.. i can save tat money to buy my Precious Moment figurines or even buy Mummy's present leh.. must save money to buy Mummy a Burberry handbag for her bday tis yr. hope i can afford. :)
had ballet earlier on. only 4 at first. doing barre work. like exams lor. but all wearing home clothes. haha.. funny lor.. joke a lot! maybe not very stress bah.. hehe.. then kerine came. late again wor.. she's missing for 2 weeks! haha.. anyway, we learn 1 new dance for 15mins! so long lor.. goodness. haha.. sun must go practice again! yeah! ballet rox!!
talked to Mama abt her condition. final stage of IVF. so poor thing. gonna have injections everyday from Fri onwards. :( Mr Soh also scare lor.. so she's doing it herself. gosh.. gonna inject once everyday! below the belly-button. *ouch* but i'm sure she can endure! Jia You ok? :)
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 11:27 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
Mummy fall sick! gosh.. really scare me out of my wits! when joanna told me, i was on my way to J8 for meeting. then was so
terrified n worried. the moment i get out of car, i called Mummy liao. i was like super terrified. cos usually when Mummy is unwell, someone would have told me. n now, no one tells me. only until joanna sms her then she told her. i know her concern. she doesn't want me to get so worried, but i feel better if i know tat something has happen rather than suddenly receive such news that she's sick. guess i really scare myself today until tears really flow down. I'm
Sorry. but it's really out of control. i promise that i'll grow up, but it's really out of my control when i'm super worried for someone whom really means a lot to me. I'm not crying like what Mummy had said, as if she's dead or something. but i'm just glad that she's ok n everything. not as bad as i've imagined. cos she did not pick up my call at first.
i treasure everyone more ever since Miss Chang's incident.
i treat everyday as if it's my last day. i prayed that there's always a tmr n tmr n tmr on n on n on...... in that case, i have more time to spend with everyone around me. esp my loved ones! i wished i could spend time with each n everyone. however, time n work do not permit me to do so. n i'm really stressed up with the amount of work i have on hands. hopefully everyone will understand me n let me just flare out if there's a need. i really dun mean it at all. i'm sorry for everything that i've done wrong.
i know there's always a time where pple is really tired of work n falls sick easily. but pls get well soon after having enough rest. ur loved ones are worried n care a lot for u.. right? so......
Mummy, Please Get Well REAL SOON! I Miss You!
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:48 PM
looking at the clicks i have now, weird...... there's new clicks liao. i miss myold clicks with Bel, Qy, Cs, Des n not forgetting my Dear fren, Forest. now they have their click with Kelly which i'm not close to in the first place. we even had conflicts. n worse is, we're working together in the Chingay project under Fund-raising. isn't tat stupid? i'm the one who recruit her in!! goodness.. thanks to her influence, bel n me totally look like strangers alr. unlike before. they were so close now! n poor forest, she sticks with me. thanks a million my dear fren! if not for her, i think i alr break down. feeling so depress n stress these few days. i really worry for my common test. i dunno wat's happening at all.. haiz.. anyone can save me from the misery?
I Miss Mummy!! & the days i had in KCPSS!!
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 3:33 PM
Friday, January 12, 2007
Had lunch with Mummy at about 2.40pm. well, she paid for it again. anyway, Mummy said that Miss Chang passed away tis morning. i'm shock! totally shock! tried to change the atmosphere. but it's really weird. i dunno how. she's affected by it. but i dunno how to console her or anything. guess i'm just being a nuisance there to her during our lunch. feeling upset, i went for NPCC as usual. played with the cadets n teach sec 1s some drills. they were cute. at least i feel better seeing so many girls in NPCC. haha.. girls rules!! then saw Sharon in GG. i thought she join Dance. but she say got 3 weeks to try. so yupx, she's trying out. then at the same time, i introduce Mummy to her in a distance. she kind of shock. haha.. but she said Mummy was PRETTY and NICE. then Mummy say me hugging her GG n she kinda showed me tat stern face. cos she did not know that Sharon was my Ballet junior-cum-student? lolz.. anyway, i took 3 pics with the GG lor. dunno wat game they playing. but i'm happy to take pics with my Xiao Meis! hehe.. so sweet.. =P love them lots!
after a tiring but fun day, i thought i would have a ride to J8 in Mummy's car. ended up walking to J8. she was suppose to attend Miss Chang's funeral wake with some other teacs. therefore cant fetch me. however, she forget to tell me. then i'm like standing there waiting for her for nothing leh.. feel like a fool lar. haiz.. but anyway, i feel terrible after walking out of the office just like that. i did not even say goodbye n just walk out. argh!! I'm so SORRY Mummy! feel super super guilty. ended up msging her saying sorry. then no reply. really thought she angry with me. heng.... she haven read the sms cos it's in her car! i really almost cried out liao. cos she's in a terrible mood too, n i'm doing this. sorry sorry sorry.. cos i only wanted to share my good news with her. thought i could treat her meal or something n cheer her up. i've done well during my Promos, thus i've receive $200 for good progress award. i just only wanted to share this good news with Mummy. didn't know it ended up like that. =(
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:46 PM
Monday, December 04, 2006
went over to Mama house to take her car down for ballet at GPV CC.. she still remember tat i actually was in pain ytd cos i sprained my neck n it affects my back. then she offer to help me apply deep heat. went over to her room. then yup.. i was scared at first.. it's like.. will u let anyone pull up ur shirt at the back n apply deep heat for u n rub if u're not close to the person? u wun dare n will feel weird weird right? yes.. tat's the same case for me.. i seriously feel so paiseh.. dun dare like tat. but it's really hurting me. i dun have a choice since she say i must apply it.
Thanks Mama! she's really Nice! haven had anyone treating me so well after Mummy.. moreover, had been following her ard for ballet almost everyday if i can make it.. do i really wanna be ballet teac or am i jus trying to get close to mama? i dunno.. we shall see.. she also remember tat i always have split lips. cos we're in air-con the whole day! she bought me lip balm too.. she paid for every meal i eat. now still buy things for me.. i really cannot treat as if nothing happen then. must really dance well!btw, i did 2 very wrong things today. firstly, i accidentally scolded sabrina in CCK CC grade 1 student "ben".. cos she bring water bottle without refilling it.. dotz.. i should have said why u so blur.. another thing was, i was really rough n sounds rude. i'm a very straightforward person n very chong dong. so watever i hear n phone, i'll reply wat i wanna say without thinking.. then on our way back, she was telling me all these. i remember her saying tis.. 'the parents are treating u as the "teacher" too. so u must have ur image there. cannot spoil the image. i may pass u all my classes. so must remember.' i was shock.. pass me all her classes? then i think back. jia hui from grade 7 at CCK CC asked me 'u wanna be ballet teac in future izzit?' i kept quiet n jus do gesture saying i dunno.. n since mama said tat, i really have to think twice. do i really wanna be ballet teac? will i get sick of it? i'm really scare. i dun want her to pin high hopes on me n then i might not wanna be ballet teac in future. headache qn.. i must really think hard..
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:03 PM
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Me & Xiao Meis Memories..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxFhr2CIzPw1S06 class video..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLF-DZcuowo
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 11:39 PM
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
results are back..
H1 GP: 45.5%
H1 Chi: 59.4%
H1 Econs: 56.7%
H2 Maths: 73%
H2 Phy: 49.5%
H2 Chem: 44%
well, my results really sucks! wat to do.. i've alr studied for it.. n my 2 sci still very lousy.. :'( told Mummy my results after some thoughts. sms her.. she say i sound ok.. so should be fine.. i told her i fake de.. results was bad.. i send her my results n said i was very sad.. then she din reply liao.. i msg her asking how she find n think.. she jus type 'i think ..................' so how am i suppose to interpret tis? i jus bluff her say ok.. i think i can interpret tat. then i went on saying tat i din do as well as her niece(in RJC also her REAL god-daughter) n Su Ling.. she took very long to reply tat she'll leave the interpretation to me. but to clarify, if she were to compare, the person tat she will compare is me myself. how am i suppose to understand it? i kept thinking.. i really dunno.. after ballet, i told her i cant interpret tat.. ask her to tell me how she feel. told her tat my dad n ballet teac was happy with it.. then she din reply. instead, after i bathe, while doing OP, Tricia msg me.. i thot was mummy. so happy. end up was her.. haiz.. jus to entertain her so i jus sms lor.. anyway, after tat, mummy replied. she said this.. 'since ur father n ur ballet teac is happy with ur results, then u should be happy too. but most importantly is u must be happy with ur own results.' haiz.. i really wanna know if she's upset or wat. it's like, i've done my best. i improved.. n yet, no encouragement from her. jus becos i dun do well? i put in so much effort jus to gain her smile n not seeing her getting upset. n yet, she treats me like tis now.. i really feel saddening.. can u pls dun treat me like tat anymore? esp when i dun have tat much time with u le.. u're resigning. i wun be able to see u as much as before. i'm alr bleeding n crying inside me n my heart. why cant u jus think for me? izzit tat bad to jus treat me nice for tat few mins tat i see u every week or sms u? =( i really work hard to keep my promise. but if tis were to continue, i think u will be seeing me slimming down a lot after A lvl PW. i'm practically forcing myself to eat cos i wanna be 'healthy' so tat i can do well for my A lvl subjects tat i'm taking tis yr. however, i cant promise to do so after exams are really over. jus hope tat u can at least have some days or jus a day or two to go out together during hols. will i ever have tat kind of priviledge? i hope so but i doubt so.. :'(
Mummy, I Really Miss YOU!!
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:47 PM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
omg.. wat the hell am i doing today? dance a bit only then start panting.. totally no mood to dance during grade 7 class. jus feel very dull n sucky.. izzit really becos of meiling or izzit tat my ballet standard really dropping again? i really dunno.. or maybe i've put in a lot of energy to do the dance? gosh.. i guess tat's jus an excuse.. i think i should really reflect on myself. cant do split. talk n talk to mama non-stop. am i there to dance or talk? cant i jus stop talking n concentrate on my dance? i feel very guilty now.. not really helping mama at all. but jus adding unnecessary movements to 'irritate' her or even make her lose hope on me? i really not sure wat i'm doing. i keep telling myself tat it's due to the haze tat i'm getting from bad to worse.. i've always look forward to dancing. but why am i not doing well? yes, i cannot hide the fact tat meiling is doing so much better than me n i cant stop myself from comparing with her.. she's smart, flexible, good in dancing too. am i jus jealous abt her being good in everything or am i jealous tat mama seems to like her a lot n not me? i dunno.. i jus find myself a burden to everyone.. is tat true? can someone jus answer me? gosh.. wat the hell has gotten into me?! can i stop being so petty always? stop grumbling abt wat others have n can have while i dun n i cant?? really hope to find the right person to talk to.. maybe my dream bf? i'm not even clear abt it.. am i despo for a guy? or am i jus hoping tat there's someone always being there n caring for me? guess i'm really tired enough caring for pple ard me tat i din even really realise tat i dun get the care n concern tat i really want.. am i really tat bad to the extent tat no one is after me? do i really need a guy to console me? i really dunno.. someone who knows, pls tell me..
`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:34 PM
